How do you Water & Nurture your Relationships?

What Actions help you recognize the Preciousness of your Relationships?

The fourth of the five remembrances found in 'Subjects for Contemplation,' a Buddhist discourse, states:

“All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them”.

As I reflect on this insight, I wonder:

when do I try to hold on to friendships or please others based on a shared past memory of how they made me feel - usually good about myself?

Do I assume that our past experience will inform our present and future relationship?

In observing nature during my early morning walks, I notice birds flying with a flock and then separating into dyads or triads. Perhaps the birds know they belong to a flock/tribe, yet, since they are not anchored to one physical place, they allow themselves to explore their playfulness with different birds every day, anew, in a more intuitive and improvisational manner.

What can we learn from them?

As I explore the question of connections, I am also contemplating whether you are reading me based on my previous writings and your preferences or if my words have sparked some new curiosity in your mind.

Maybe certain friendships served a need in our past, but do they offer us something new and fresh today? Have you ever made a list of the people you know and are friends with, and asked yourself how healthy, reciprocal, and present that relationship is for you in the unfolding of your life today?

In reflecting on relationships in our lives, the fourth remembrance invites us to sit and recognize that the person dear to us is of the nature to change, and that no one can escape being separated from our loved ones.

In honor of the personal changes that you and your friends have undergone, I invite you to check in with your own needs and desires and to explore whether you are holding onto friendships in the hope that they will remind you of who you were or heal your current personal needs.

Shifting our focus to the present moment, beyond the words, needs, and projections that we wish our friend to offer us, I wonder: what Actions have we offered, and what Actions have our friend offered us?

The fifth and last remembrance emphasizes the concept of 'actions':

“My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.”

As I integrate these insights, I am trying to learn how to liberate myself from what social expectations and friends might bring up for me, and to be present, like a bird, for whatever might fly, come across, or spark my curiosity today.

I remind myself that I can feel good enough in the ways I manifest and communicate with all of nature – not only human beings, but also show my caring actions to trees (which I hug), birds (which I listen to), and fresh flowers (which I touch and smell and even a cat does as in the photo).

Finally, I invite you to reflect: what actions are you offering yourself and others that can support your grounding and show your care?

What actions can your loved ones offer you that you can appreciate and acknowledge today?

May we continue to ask ourselves: what actions do we offer to ourselves and others that can make us feel uplifted, flying like a bird, exploring new grounds, while instilling a sense of belonging to ourselves, to certain relationships, and to all of nature around us.